Clandestine
by PenTheWillows
Summary: It's probably obvious by now, but I'm not coming. Not tonight, not in two weeks, never again.
1. The Art of Keeping Secrets

Clandestine: The Art of Keeping Secrets

It looks like this is over, then. There's nothing left in this relationship. She was never happier than the times that she was with him, but this has to end. It's not fair to her, and it's not fair to everyone else. No matter what he wants, she's going to stand up for herself this time. She can't keep hurting herself like this. Tonight, she'll tell him that they're done…forever.

* * *

><p>Roxanne Weasley can't exactly remember when this whole thing started. It was at least two years ago, probably around the time that Teddy Lupin proposed to her cousin. He had come by Roxie's work – the Leaky Cauldron, where she was a waitress – for a few drinks.<p>

A few turned into a lot, and by the time Roxie's shift was over, Teddy was drunk as you please. Roxie had offered to take him home, no matter how much she just wanted to return to her own house and sleep till noon the next day.

Roxie had Apparated herself and Teddy to his flat, where she set about putting him to bed. He woke up right as she was leaving, and called her back. She had complied, and when she reached him, he was standing. He pulled her into a snog – something she had dreamed of receiving from him since she started noticing the male gender.

The snog became fiercer, clothes were pulled off and scattered, there was a bit of stumbling and fumbling and tumbling. The next thing she could remember was waking up to bright sunlight pouring into the room. She took in her surroundings: naked, in bed with an equally-naked Teddy.

Roxie dressed as quickly – and quietly – as possible before leaving. Nothing would be more mortifying than having Teddy wake up and realize what a drunken mistake he had made. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to survive that.

* * *

><p>Teddy never ended up confronting her about their one-night stand, nor she him. Mostly because it ended up not just being a one-night stand. The next weekend, he came to see her at the Leaky Cauldron, and invited her over to his flat when her shift was over. He said that he wanted her to see his latest painting (painting was his hobby when he wasn't chasing dark wizards as an Auror, or spending time with Victoire or the Potters or his grandmother).<p>

She went to his flat, and he immediately started snogging her again. Yes, this was wrong. Yes, he was engaged to her cousin. Yes, if anyone found out about this, they could both be in some serious trouble. She knew all of that. But she also knew that this felt _so_ right, and that was all that mattered to her.

That night, they slept together again. And the next morning, Roxie woke up before him again. She snuck out of his flat just as she had last weekend. Why was it that, at night it felt so perfect, but never the next morning? All she could feel at that moment was disgust for herself, and for what she was doing to her eldest cousin.

* * *

><p>This has been going for two years, now. They get together at Teddy's flat at least once every two weeks, and every 'Morning After' finds her making a secret 'Walk of Shame'. Somehow, they're now closer than they've ever been. No one has noticed. Victoire has no idea that she's sharing her fiancé with her little cousin Roxie.<p>

Roxie has no idea what this is. Is she his mistress? Or his 'booty-call', as she once heard her Uncle George call a woman they'd found in her Uncle Charlie's apartment? The first time – and maybe the second time – had just been experimental for her. She thought that they'd be exceptions to the rule, but that had turned out to not be the case.

She wasn't entirely comfortable with this 'relationship' they had. But she didn't have enough willpower to stop it. She's been in love with him for _so_ long, and for him to finally see her as a woman (even if it's only in secret) is her dream come true. That's been true, up until today.

He sent her a letter this morning, asking her to come over tonight, as he does every time. And she's finally convinced herself to stop hoping for something more to come from their trysts. Because he's getting married tomorrow. So she won't be having one more secret rendezvous with him. (Besides, how is she even supposed to know if he wants this to be the last one?) Her morals may seem lax, but at least she has enough pride to not sleep with a man the night before his wedding.

She sends him a letter back at midnight, when she's sure that he knows she's not coming. There are a few tear stains on the edges of the parchment, but only a few. Not enough for him to realize how much this is hurting her. He doesn't deserve that knowledge.

* * *

><p><em>Teddy – <em>

_ It's probably obvious by now, but I'm not coming. Not tonight, not in two weeks, never again. I'm not exactly sure what 'this' was for you, but I don't really care. You're marrying Victoire tomorrow, and there is no power on this planet that could get me to sleep with you just hours before you become hers 'forever and always'._

_ Don't worry. I know that no one can ever find out about...'this'. Trust me, it would be as damaging to me as it would be to you. I plan on keeping 'this' a secret until…well, nobody will ever know._

_ –Roxie_


	2. The Art of Revelations

Clandestine: The Art of Revelations

Roxie is one of Victoire's bridesmaids. She comes right after Dominique, who is Victoire's Maid-of-Honor. This makes her feel even worse about her and Teddy's 'thing'. She spends the day with Victoire, Dominique, and two of Victoire's friends from Hogwarts.

They help Victoire prepare, simultaneously preparing themselves as well. Luckily, one of Victoire's Hogwarts friends is told to go check on Teddy, rather than her. She's not sure if she would've been able to handle that.

When it's time for the wedding to start, Roxie waits anxiously for her cue, and then enters the church. She keeps her eyes on the steps up to the altar. She can't look at Teddy. Not today. Her heart is already cracked; it doesn't need to be shattered.

She gets to her place, and locks eyes with James, the groomsman after her Uncle Harry (Teddy's Best Man). James doesn't notice the tension in her body, and proceeds to make funny faces at her. She tries her hardest to not laugh, even though she feels sick.

Roxie barely notices when Dominique comes in. She's too busy trying to distract herself. But it's hard to not notice when Victoire comes in. She hears the Bridal March begin, and she instinctively – along with the rest of the gathered people – turns to the doors.

Victoire seems to float in, escorted by Roxie's Uncle Bill. It is in that moment that Roxie truly sees why she was just a fling, and Victoire's the one that Teddy is marrying today. Even though Victoire's only one-eighth Veela (and Roxanne's met Victoire's grandmother, who is one-half Veela), Roxie's pretty sure that she's never seen another living creature look so beautiful.

Tears begin to well in her eyes, but not for the reasons that tears are gathering in the eyes of the rest of the audience. Jealously fills her, and she's having a hard time suppressing it. Victoire gets everything she wants; she always has. So why is it that, the one thing that Roxie wants more than anything, Victoire gets too?

As Roxie mentally rages, the Minister of Magic (Roxie's Uncle Percy) begins the ceremony. She's not even paying attention until Uncle Percy says, "If anyone has a good reason as to why these two shouldn't be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."

And she _knows_ that she shouldn't do it. Every fiber of her being is telling her not to. This is going to destroy everything in her life. She promised him, and she's never been one to break a promise. But this…

"Teddy and I have been having an affair for two years! I'm sorry, Victoire!" She yells it out for all to hear, and then clamps her hands over her mouth. Everyone in the church, from Great-Great-Aunt Marge (who _still_ hasn't died yet) to little Marisol Leblanc (the Flower Girl, and Victoire's five-year old cousin from her Aunt Gabrielle), looks at her. Nobody says a word.

Tears streaming down her face, Roxanne runs out of the church. Still, no one speaks as she flees. And she knows that this may be the most cliché thing that she's ever done – and she's always been probably the least cliché person she knows – but there is no way to take this back. What has she done?


	3. The Art of Seeking Advice

Clandestine: The Art of Seeking Advice

Now, she's estranged from her family. They can't believe that Roxie – sweet little Roxie 'The Hufflepuff' Weasley – would do this to anyone, let alone her own cousin. She knows that all that most of them feel for Teddy is disappointment (though Victoire, her parents, and her siblings are furious with him), because he's a bloke, and this is a typical thing for a bloke to do. But Roxie is being shunned by almost all of them (excluding her brother and parents).

Sure, she should be depressed about this. She's lost nearly everyone that she loves, including Teddy. But she can't help but feel proud of herself, at the same time. She could have kept this a secret forever, and let Victoire believe that Teddy has only ever loved her and only her. Well, that might be true, but he still cheated on her. Anyways, she could have saved herself, and never let Victoire know what type of man she was marrying. But now she knows, and Roxie is fine with that, even if it means she's losing it all.

She hasn't talked to Teddy. She really should, but she can't bring herself to. What do you say to the man that you helped cheat on your cousin, and who you also exposed as a cheater at his wedding to said cousin? There's no guidebook, and right now, she just needs some guidance. She needs assistance from someone who is older and wiser than she.

That's why Roxie finds herself at Hogwarts on an unassuming spring afternoon. School hasn't yet been let out for Easter break, but she can't continue directionless any longer. She enters the grounds, following a path to her favorite place on the Hogwarts campus: the greenhouses. Professor Longbottom is just finishing up with what looks to be the fourth-year Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. She waits patiently until all of the students have exited the greenhouse, and follows the expectant professor inside.

"I'm sure you've already heard about what happened." She's not a fan of dragging out conversations. He chuckles.

"Of course. Your cousin Lucy, who seems to enjoy Herbology just as much as you, was talking with me about it just a few weeks ago. Of course, that doesn't explain why you're here," Professor Longbottom explains as he begins setting up for his next lesson.

"I don't know how to handle this!" she confesses, "I've always been one of the good children, and I've never had them hate me before!"

"They don't hate you," Professor Longbottom tries to soothe her, but Roxanne shoots him a glare. "Well, maybe Victoire's mad at you, but she could never hate you. You're her cousin."

"And I slept with her fiancé! I'd be more surprised if she _didn't _hate me!"

"Roxanne, remember that surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us," Professor Longbottom says sagely. Roxie opens her mouth to ask what he means, but she's interrupted by another voice.

"Professor Long…err, Uncle Neville, can I ask you for some advice?" Roxie recognizes that voice. _Shite! _This isn't going to end well.

"Hello, Victoire!" Neville greets Victoire cheerfully as she glides – yes, she _glides_ – inside. She stops in her tracks when she catches sight of Roxie, who gulps audibly. Today might _actually_ be the day that she dies.

"Roxanne," Victoire intones coolly.

"Victoire," Roxie 'replies' shakily, "How are you?" Roxie knows how her cousin is, or at least she thinks she does. Victoire is being strong. She's mad at her, and at Teddy, but she isn't shedding a single tear, because that's just who Victoire is. But Roxie is wrong, as she usually is these days. Her 'innocent' query is all that it takes for Victoire to fall apart.

"Rox!" Victoire sobs, nearly collapsing in Roxie's arms, which she's just fallen into, "Why would he do that to me?" Roxie stands there, stunned, for several seconds. Neville quietly edges out of the greenhouse, understanding that the two cousins desperately needed to talk this all out. He's gotten a lot smarter since the war ended.


End file.
